We all have habits – those things we do just because we have trained ourselves to do them. Sometimes we don’t feel like doing them. But we endure the discomfort; follow through; and in the end, we are better for it. Well, I came across an entry in one of my journals today where I see one of those habits. Let me set the stage.
The year was 1995. I had three young sons. I was committed to making sure they had a spiritual foundation. Part of this was consistent church attendance, at least once a week. It wasn’t always easy. With a busy week at work and all of those extracurricular activities added in the evenings, it would have been easy to forgo that weekly ritual. I, too, needed encouragement in this area. This one day, I looked beyond the habit. It wasn’t about me.
I feel so out of place, unworthy, lonely. What’s the point in going to church? Perhaps I won’t bother to go this Sunday. I don’t feel like I belong; the boys don’t cooperate sometimes. They seem so uninterested. What a wilderness … such a war going on inside of me. Absolutely no one understands or can help.
But how can I not go? I will go, if for no other reason, to give honor and praise to Jesus because He is worthy. Regardless of my circumstances, my state of mind/emotions, what others say or don’t say, I will direct my attention to Jesus and worship Him. Yes, I must go because He is worthy of my praise. He is deserving of my undivided attention. I will go the the house of the Lord.