Just Breathe

Va-ca-tion ~ noun ~ “A period or suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel.”

Sometimes I have to remind myself what vacation really is all about.  It’s not just a day or two off to run errands or take care of personal business, although that’s what much of mine is used for.  Recently, I knew that I needed a real vacation described in the definition above, and one or two days were not going to accomplish what I needed – a true break in order to re-group and re-focus.

Between my corporate position and some personal issues, I was totally drained.  I had reached a point where the simplest of tasks was a chore.  I didn’t feel like I was good for anything or anyone.  One night, I felt like a massive weight was bearing down on my chest and there was no way out.   I was so overwhelmed that I sent an old friend a message and asked her to pray for me.  I didn’t offer details about my situation, but she said she would pray.  When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed I was suffocating.  In the dream, she was next to me and said, “Deb, just breathe, just breathe.”  That’s all she said.

I woke up and realized I was holding my breath and was relieved that I really could breathe.  The horrible feeling of not being able to breathe kept me awake the remainder of the night.  Later that day, I read a blog where someone described a completely different situation and paused to simply say:  “Take a breath.”  Wow – did that speak to me or what?

For the first time that I can ever remember, I scheduled two full weeks of vacation at one time.  The first week was spent out of town, a typical traveling vacation – nice accommodations, the beach, the pool, completely away, and total relaxation with no schedule.  I was blessed to be able to do this on a shoestring budget.  The second week was a staycation – nothing exciting but I did accomplish a few personal things, had more writing time, and took one brief day trip with a friend.  I am so glad that I took that little afternoon trip with her to a small rural town.  We had lunch at a cozy diner that served homemade pie.  Yum!  (I took time to smell the roses.)  🙂

The important thing is that I recognized my need.  I needed the break to reset myself – a reboot if you will.  I learned that when I’m on vacation, I not only smell the roses, I see others and their needs.  I see the person next to me stressed the way I was.  I see the person struggling with a physical disability.   I see the carefree spirit of a child.

One day, I watched God’s wondrous creation – the ocean, the waves, the washing of the sand forward and the return.  I watched a child build a sandcastle, and I watched older children battle the waves with their boogie boards.  After watching for a while, I joined in with them playing in the waves.  And you know what?  We saw dolphins just a few feet away.

No driving, no make-up, no e-mail, no schedule, no stress = a better me!

My vacation has come to an end, but I am refreshed to go back into my world and deal with my situations and the people there.  Hopefully they, in turn, can tolerate me.  I think I took my vacation for me and for them.  🙂

I am not ashamed that I took time to … just breathe.